they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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