ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
