Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
