Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
