Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
