My sheets look like a crime scene.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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