I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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