I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
