Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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