So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
