Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
