two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
