He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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