I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
