my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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