The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
