so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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