it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
