Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
