what day is it and did you see me today?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
