I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
