Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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