your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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