he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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