PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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