I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
