You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
