What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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