i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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