why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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