I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
