sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
