Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
