I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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