Cold hands, warm shart.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
