New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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