Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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