it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I could fuck to npr.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
