We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
