His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
