All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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