I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
