i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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