it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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