I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
