i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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