dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
