Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
