Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
