I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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